I am now offering couples therapy online or in person.
Couples therapy is quite different from individual therapy as it is more directive. I start the sessions with an assessment which identifies what is going on within the relationship, where the problems are and the goals that we will be working towards.
Couples work normally lasts between 10 – 12 sessions. During this time, I offer ways to regulate our emotions – independently – without needing the partner to do this for us. This is done by using breath work or simple breathing techniques. Our breath connects to the nervous system, which in turn connects to the rate of heartbeat, and by slowing our breath we can calm the nervous system and feel more relaxed. If we combine this with a short daily meditation, we can find that there is more ability to pause when stressed and be less reactive.
The role of the therapist is to show by example how to actively listen, or to listen with empathy to our partner. So often in relationship we can be stuck in a defensive pattern where we don’t listen deeply to our partner and are instead thinking of the next response.
This is a self- protective behaviour which doesn’t allow us to hear properly what our partner is trying to communicate.
I offer exercises during sessions which aid communication and allow each client to express themselves fully in a safe space.
I feel excited to be working with couples and enjoy the challenge of two clients in the room!
To watch a couple learn to pace their communication and find opportunities to express their love for each other is a very rewarding experience.